August 2015
How to see Divinity in Relationships
Guruji: What is the question? How to see divine in others in the place of harshness and cruelty?
How can you not see divine in others? That is my question
Life is set of interactions, life is set of relationships. In a relationship there are different levels of interactions, sometime its harsh or tough, sometimes its good and sometimes it is bad. Now, every interaction is a learning. When somebody shouts at you and you get angry. So, you have learnt that, ‘I get angry’.
What is an Evolved Response
Now the question is – do you have to learn? So now let us visualize that in your place a much evolved person is sitting and now if somebody shouts at you how will you react? An evolved person’s response will be very different. I will tell you a story of Buddha.
Buddha was going through a forest people asked him not to go through that path. Buddha asks, “Why?” There is a killer or terrorist called Angulimala living there. Angulimala used to kill people and take their thumb fingers, make a garland out of those fingers and wear that around his neck. That garland is like a medal for him. He has killed only 999 people and he has one last person to kill to make it 1000. So, now he confronts Buddha. Angulimala looked terrible with a big moustache, holding a sword in his hand and with that garland of finger. He stood in front of Buddha, any other person in the place of Buddha would have got terrified and heartbroken, but Buddha was not terrified. He looks at him and observes him.
Angulimala was totally surprised at Buddha’s reaction and says, “Are you not scared looking at me? Don’t you know that I am Angulimala, I have killed 999 people and you are the 1000th person?” Buddha replied, “Why should I be scared of you?” Angulimala says, “Because I am very powerful.”
Buddha says “Is it so? Really? Is killing so powerful?” Angulimala says, “Yes”. Ok, I will accept that you are a very powerful man if you are able to give life to one person. You say that you have killed 999 people, but killing is easy, giving life to one person is very difficult. So, if you are that powerful then give life to one person.”
This question was mind boggling to Angulimala. It goes deep in to his mind and immediately he gets transformed. He drops all his weapons, his cruelty and bows down to Buddha. He becomes Buddha’s discple and one day he gets enlightened.
So now for any situation there is a different response compared to a conditioned “action- reaction” response which is called as an evolved response. Now if somebody is harsh at you, you should be very thankful to that person because he is teaching you how unevolved you are, what stage of evolution you are in. You just react and he is indirectly asking you, ‘when will you grow up?’ Why can’t you see divine in him because that divine is coming and teaching you where you are standing in your classroom.
Go beyond the action-reaction cycle
So how can you not see divine in him or her? Please tell me. When he is shouting at you and he is bringing up reactions in. That reaction is coming out and you are getting a very good chance to evaluate yourself where you stand.
Student: If we have stopped reacting, is it because of our spiritual evolution or is it because we have become immune to that person?
It is not immunity, it is how he is helping you to evolve by his reaction, that is why you are married to that person and that is why you are in that relationship. Your education is not yet complete you have to evolve. That is why day in and day out you have to go through that situation until you evolve. Until you come out of that action – reaction cycle and you go beyond that which will happen. The moment that change happens in you the situation drops automatically because the lessons are learnt. So, how you can not see divine in that person?
Student: I have noticed that when you are in a spiritual path we get more opportunities to learn these lessons.
Guru is the Teaching principle
In life, please understand that everything and every situation is a Guru. When you say Guru, it is not a person. Guru is a principle. A principle which teaches you is called Guru. Your first Guru was your mother. Through mother, not as a body but as a teaching principle, you learn certain things like, to talk, eat food, walk etc. Mother is your Guru, your classmates are your Guru. From your classmates you learn so many things. Then your teacher is your Guru, your enemy is your Guru, because you can learn so many things from everybody. Wherever there is learning happening and learning possible it is called Guru and Guru is god himself coming in various forms. You please tell me where God is not there, where Guru is not there? Every situation is Guru and if somebody is hurting you, he is a Guru because he is teaching you how to handle that hurt in a very responsive way. That is why it is said:
“Akhanda Mandalakaram Vyaaptam Yena Characharam
Tat Padam Darshitam Yena Tasmai Shri Gurave Namaha”
Guru is not one body or person it is an all pervading principle. In the stone, sky, water, in the husband, wife, children – everywhere you can learn and even this little bit learning happening here is also Guru.
Guru – Shishya (The teaching and the learning principle)
Now learning happens in every situation otherwise evolution stops. A good or bad husband or wife or children, constantly there is learning. You forget that learning and you treat that person as a son or husband. You please understand there is no son or husband there is only Guru Principle everywhere. Guru comes in various ways. The teaching is happening. Are you ready to learn? Are you becoming a Shishya? The learning principle is called Shishya the teaching principle is called Guru. The only one relationship exists in the world is called Guru- Shishya. Every other relationship like husband-wife, mother-children etc are false. The only one relationship which is eternal is Guru-shishya.
Now, Guru is god himself, Awareness himself, omnipresent. So how can you not see the divine everywhere? How can you miss that? What is that you have to learn? You have to learn a mature responsive situation, you have to come out of reactionary mode. You have to come out of karmic impressions and you have to handle this relationship in a very very mature way.
Student: It has to be from both the sides?
Guruji: No. It is only one side, your side. Actually, the other person is very good, he is teaching you. When a child makes a mistake in the class, Teacher gives him imposition, asks him to write 20 times. Then will the child say, “No, no I have to change the Teacher.” Why?
Student: This learning is never complete.
Guruji: It is complete when you learn, have you learnt?
Student: How do you we know that we have learnt?
Guruji: When you are not disturbed internally, when you are able to handle the situation in a very mature way and you are peaceful within yourself and your peace reflects on the other person and he will calm down. Instead of 1+1 becoming 2 and 2+2 becoming 4 or problems getting multiplied, they start coming down. People don’t become a part of problem; they become part of solution which is a mature response. So you cannot call teacher as a bad teacher and say that you do not want a bad teacher. Instead, you have to happy that you got such a teacher, a tough teacher will teach you more.
Sri Prabhuji