Question: How do I stop trying to become enlightened? I know intellectually that the me cannot become enlightened but I can’t stop. Am worried it will drive me crazy. Do I continue till the me gets exhausted?
Sri Prabhuji: The intense, iresistable, maddening desire for ‘enlightenment’ is often portrayed, in ancient scriptures and modern fables, as being intrinsically noble. One example is the enduring tale of Vivekananda pacing back & forth frantically, yearning for ‘his’ total immersion in the Oneness, before Sri Ramakrishna picked up a stray shard of glass and shoved it right between Viveka’s eyebrows, supposedly catalyzing his final transcendence. We love our stories and dramas – even those falsely-fabricated around the ‘dilemma of enlightenment.’ 🙂
But the truth is, such longing is no different from the intense, maddening desire for love, or an addict’s intense, irrepressible craving for their next ‘fix.’
There is only Being, and Being or Pure Awareness is the natural state…experienced timelessly by ‘no one.’ When the false separate “me” identity or ego-mind steps aside, even for an instant, all that exists is boundless peace. Being sees this clearly and abides in it eternally, each moment the illusion of a separate “you” is not obscuring it. Like the Sun is felt bathing its boundless light the instant the obscuring clouds part.
Since there is only Being, “who” is to become ‘enlightened?’ That ‘enlightenment’ is all there is already.
It appears Being likes to ‘play,’ to project the illusion of separate entities, each having “their” unique journey and quandaries in life.
So…”who” is it that, erroneously, thinks “it” must become enlightened? Instead of already Being That?
“Who” is it that captures the intellectual realization that there is no “me,” but can’t stop that fictional ”me” from striving to annihilate the “me?”:-)
“Who” is it that worries “it” will ‘go crazy?’
And yes, “you” might say this folly will continue until the “me” gets exhausted. That exhaustion and disgust with the never-resolved mental activity/identity can sometimes cause a spontaneous collapse and parting of the “me-clouds” so Pure Being basks in Itself again. It might last for a day, a week, or, if the mind’s futility is truly bankrupt, forever.
But, once again, “who” is it that that appears to get exhausted and precipitate some apparent transition or transcendence?
Only Being. Playing hide-&-seek with Itself. Nothing to do with “your” craving, seeking, practices or exhaustion…or even your ‘sanity.’
Relax. Drop the mental activity and striving, if just for a few moments. Notice that when “you” are not there, all there is, is boundless Peace