Question: There is a concept that Self-realization is only for Sanyasi. Can a grihastha get Self realized?
Sri Prabhuji:
Why not? In universe there is nothing exclusive for somebody. In ancient times all Rishis were grihasthas and they were self-realized. Those Rishis were not only married, they had children, sometimes dozens of children. Sometimes they even married two people. For example, Yagnavalkya married two people, Maitreyi and Kathyayini. So, grihasthas who were self-realized, many of them were Rishis. Ramakrishna Paramahamsa was married. There are many many examples in the History for a Self-realized person. Kabir Das was there. He was a Jnani. So Rishis were Self-realized people. And most of those Rishis were married. Then where is the question of Sanyasa and Self-realization, I do not understand. What is the connection between Self-realization and Sanyasa? So, this is all a popular understanding only. Self-realization is for anybody.
See, what is Self-realization? What is AtmaJnana? To get the full bliss of life, to attain the highest state. To attain the Supreme Truth, to attain Moksha, liberation by disowning the human body. Now, this cannot happen without Sanyasa. But Sanyasa is not what you think. Sanyasa has nothing to do with the dress. Sanayasa is what people take as a monkhood. Monkhood is considered as Sanyasa. But Sanyasa means, Samyak Nyasa, right kind of deposit. The mind can be deposited in outer world or mind can be deposited in Atma. A grihasta who has his mind oriented towards his self, Atma jnana, is qualified for Self-Realization. whereas a Grihastha who is focussed on the outer world in money, desire, kama is not eligible for Self-realization because his mind is not going inwards. It is the state of the mind and it is not the state of the work, profession or a stage of life.
For example, there are four stages of human life, brahmacharya, grihastha, vanaprastha and sanyasa. These four stages are the levels of maturity of human beings. In ancient days there were clear classified stages of life. Somebody used to study in brahmacharya period, get married in grihasthashrama period, get retired in vanaprashtha and take sanyasa in sanyasa stage. In ancient times these were four stages of life. Today it is the state of mental maturity of the human being. Maturity of the mind is called sanyasa. If you understand the limitation of everything in the world and if your mind is going back towards Self, atman, then it does not matter what outer profession you do, how you live. What happens internally is called sanyasa. Sanyasa is the state of the mind. Unless somebody attains the state of mind as sanyasa he cannot attain liberation.
What is the state of mind of a sanyasi? Sanyasi has nothing to do with the outer world, his outer dress. Sanyasi is always associated with the outer dress. Sanyasi is somebody who has done “samyak nyasa”, the right kind of deposit of the mind. The mind has to be deposited in Atma by study of scriptures, by study of upanishads, by contemplation and meditation, if somebody spends time, Atma jnana is available to him. It has nothing to do with the monkhood. Probably monkhood helps because there are no more additional responsibilities. But a grihastha can be as much as a self-realized person. To give an example of a grihastha can become an Atma jnani, because people always think that only a sanyasi is eligible to be a Atma jnani, there are stories in Mahabharata for people to realize that a grihastha is also eligible to become a Atma jnani. All gopikas were grihasthas, they were married, they had husbands, family. Vidura was a jnani and he was a grihastha.
The story of Dharmavyadha comes in Mahabharata. There was a monk called Kaushika, he meditated for 12 years. And people who meditate, people who take Sanyasa without a deeper inner purification, they can become egoistic,’ I have done meditation, I am a sanyasi, I am a spiritual person’ etc. One day a crow’s excreta fell on his head. Kaushika got angry and looked at the crow. The crow got burnt. So Kaushika was very happy that he became very powerful through meditation. Then he goes for alms to get food. He stands in front of a house and he says “Bhavati Bhikshan Dehi” which means “Madam please give me food as alms’. There was a delay in the opening of the door. Then Kaushika gets angry. When the lady opens the door to give the alms, he looks at her angrily. Then the lady smiles at him and say, “I am not the crow to get burnt when you get angry”.
Kaushika gets shocked. How did this lady come to know about the crow that I burnt? He then falls at her feet and asks her, “please tell me how did you acquire these powers?”. She replies, “You think that only becoming a monk is the way for liberation, you think meditation is the only way for liberation? I am a grihastha, I take care of my husband, my children and my family with the understanding that there is divine in all of them. Because of my selfless service, nishkama karma, I have become Self-realized person. I got Self-realization by doing service to the Lord in the form of human beings. This is the part of Manushya Yajna’. Then Kaushika says, “You please be my Guru”. She replied, “No, I am woman, as per the society normas I cannot be your Guru. You go to another person, who can be your guru” and she gives him the address of that person. Kaushika goes to that address and he finds a butcher there. He was selling the meat. Kaushika felt like vomiting as that was a butcher shop. He waits till the evening. By evening many people gather in front of that butcher shop. Now they have not come for meat, they have come for spirituality discourses. Kaushika gets shocked that how can a butcher get Self-realized. Then the Butcher says, “I have to do this profession, otherwise I cannot survive. I do everything as an offering to Lord. With that my mind has been purified and I got Self-realization”. So this is the teaching, there is Mahabharata to teach you that Self-realization is not exclusive property of any monk.
In fact those who are not prepared and take monkhood they are not a problem for themselves but also for others. You have to do selfless service, pray God, while being a grihastha, that will liberate you. Then you can get liberation. But you have to attain Sanyasa, the mind has to attain the state of a Sanyasa. That is the mind has to be detached and has to go to atma. It has nothing to do with the external dress. An example for that is Kabir Das, Purandhara Das. There are many many examples who are grihastas n Atma jnanis. In fact all Rishis were grihastas.
Now, many people are confused with Rishis and Sanyasis. Sanyasa is a way of life and Rishi is a state of relisazation. They are very different. I teach vedanta and I live my life. This is way of sanyasa. But state of realization is called Rishi. One who has attained the knowledge and wisdom of truth , he is called Rishi. Rishi has nothing to do with way of life. Way of life is outer, Rishihood is internal. Anybody can become a Rishi, provided he works on Self-realization, Atma jnana.